Dear God

You didn’t create me to be on the losing end for the rest of my life.  Forgive me for forgetting about you and everyone and everything you blessed me with in life.  I thank you for so many blessings, but this you already know through my prayers that I’ve uttered so far.  This is different.  This is a letter to you.  You yourself have emphasized how the writen word is so much more powerful than the word of the mouth.

God I am empty inside of your spirit.  I have been fooling myself to believe that Jesus lived in me.  You have been so merciful. Help me get the concept that pleasing you should be the ultimate goal in life.   I am asking that you fill me completely with your spirit when you deem it.  I have failed miserably.  May my failures become the platform I stand on to glorify you.

First step is NA and all that it has to offer. there is a lot going on with me besides drug addiction, and I am not happy with who I am, nor proud because of the ones I am hurting.  Place me in the company of only the ones that are going to help me serve you and your purpose for me on earth.  Please remind me that I must guard my tongue.

As I am writing this to you God, I realize that I have to work the steps.  And I have to get out and fellowship with other NA members everyday.  I have to re-learn how to live.  My blessings are being held up because of my evil, selfish, self gratifying ways.  Imagine me on drugs with money pouring in?  Please give me the strength to keep thoughts of using out of my mind, or when they do, that I have a person to talk to.  I have failed at that time and time again for over 4 years.  I know it is up to me to make the call.  Please allow for the right person to pick up.

Thank you for blessing me with Mr George.  20+ years using, 30+ years clean.  I want to be cleaner longer in my life than me using.  I been using since 14.  Day one starts today…again, yes, but it starts again.  God, I don’t want to lose everything entirely in order for me to understand that using is not an option.

Grant me the mindset to endure the pains of repairing my marriage.  I am under pressure to provide and protect, but with addiction at the source of my issues, and finances in shambles…I need you to work some miracles provided that I stay clean.  Please reward me with my efforts so that you can be glorified as you have done so many others.  Please God, heal my wife’s pains.  God, i truly believe you brought us together, however I’m going to lose her if I don’t get it through my thick head not to use again.

Please scan my heart and reveal to me my insufficiences and flaws.  I keep talking about fasting but never did it.  Can you put it in my spirit that the time to do this fast is now!  I need your divine wisdom and spirit now, and my flesh is getting in the way.  I need a food fast and a verbal fast as well.  My mouth utters too many words and nothing but lies are coming out, no matter how truthful my intentions seemed to be at the time.

Second is my business venture with the one that you placed before me.  Please help me not to lose track of why I’m doing this and to keep your promise to bless my family abundantly.  I’m so confused as to what to do to establish a business.  I have so many ideas, however please help me make the right choices by your system of blessings.

Bless my writings God so that they may help others.  Bless my writings so that I can get paid and take care of my family and correct the many wrongs I’ve done in my past.  I know this won’t happen over night but as time goes on I am going to hone my skills and become a great writer, life coach and financial planner.  Sound Good to you?

Thanks for everything.