Go Harder

My daughters mother is deciding to move to another city and take my daughter with her.  I don’t have joint custody of my daughter.  I would move if i was single.  I am married now, and can’t and won’t drag them in this.

I haven’t ate in two days.  I want to go 21 days to fast.  I know i have to take care of my body, but I get weak.  I quit everything I start and now that I’m 40, i have nothing to show, and I feel like i lost my child because of my mishandling of finances and my time, I couldn’t afford a lawyer to represent me in family court when the divorce was done.

I have been blessed with two jobs now, however the triggers of extra money exist.  I’m in poor health, tons of debt, and I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing in life.  I am struggling to know whether I’m fulfilling God’s purpose for me on this earth.  I’m not helping anyone and i’m not tithing. Not going to church nor do I plan on going.  I don’t attend NA meetings, not do i have a support group of friend that I can talk to.

Being sober is great at times, but its sad to see how far behind my mistakes have caused me to be.  Time is now to stand up and make a change.  So I’m back to blogging.  Gotta try something.

I just hate starting and quitting.  Hope I keep writing.