Inventory

Inventory
I’ve been a spoiled, selfish, deceitful person practically all my life. It’s in Gods hands now as always. my addictions and all my sins are on the verge of coming down on me all at once. The shame and the pain is beyond what I can imagine. Hurting my wife and her kids and my kids, our parents, co-workers. I pray to God to please spare me this pain and spare them. He knows what I will become, and I pray this one prayer that I have learned my lesson and will change my ways.

I’ve been an underachiever, scared of hard work and adversity. I have false confidence and prey on the weak because I am weak myself. I have been too lazy to deserve the benefits of hard work, and I exist only because God allows me to. I want to do more than just exist, but I don’t want to do that by hurting my wife and living without her.

I am a thief. I stole from my kids to feed my habit. Regardless of me paying it back, I still stole. I must make amends. God’s word is coming to light in my life. I been lying to myself that I’ve been getting away with things, bragging as if I’m so blessed. I’ve been cursed the whole time and didn’t know it or take it to heart.